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She Said She's Ready for College. Now I'm Asking Myself: Am I Ready Too?
MOTHERHOOD JOURNEY
Khadija Ali
8/17/20262 min read
The other day, I had a conversation with my daughter, Goose, that I haven't been able to stop thinking about.
We were talking about college.
Not college as some distant idea for somebody else's child.
College for her.
And when I brought it up, Goose didn't hesitate.
She told me she was ready to go.
So, being the mother that I am, I started asking questions.
What would you want to go to school for?
What would you do about your meals?
How would you handle your laundry?
What would it be like living away from home?
How would you manage your day?
We talked about independence. Responsibilities. Campus life. The things she would have to learn and the things she already knows how to do.
And the more we talked, the more something started to shift in me.
She sounded ready.
And maybe—just maybe—I'm becoming ready too.
College May Not Look the Way We Thought It Would
For many parents of children with intellectual and developmental disabilities, college may not have been part of the future we originally imagined.
But that doesn't mean college isn't possible.
There are inclusive postsecondary education programs at colleges and universities across the country designed specifically to give students with intellectual disabilities opportunities to continue learning, develop employment skills, experience campus life, build friendships, and become more independent.
And once I started researching, I realized there were more possibilities than I knew.
Programs Families Can Explore
ClemsonLIFE — Clemson University
ClemsonLIFE is a four-year postsecondary program for young adults with intellectual disabilities. The program focuses on functional academics, independent living, employment, social and leisure development, and health and wellness. Students can also gain practical experience living in apartments and developing skills for greater independence.
CarolinaLIFE — University of South Carolina
CarolinaLIFE is an individualized, non-degree program for students with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Students can participate in university courses and have opportunities for campus housing, student organizations, sporting events, work-study, and commencement. The program focuses on academics, career preparation, independent living, social and community engagement, and personal development.
Next Steps at Vanderbilt — Vanderbilt University
Next Steps is a four-year certificate program for students with intellectual disabilities. Students develop individualized plans based on their academic interests, career goals, independent-living goals, and university experience. The program also incorporates internships, apprenticeships, career development, and Vanderbilt courses.
And these are only a few examples.
A Resource Every Family Should Know About
If you're wondering whether a program like this exists near you, one of the best places to begin is Think College.
Think College provides resources about inclusive postsecondary education for students with intellectual disabilities and offers a College Search tool that families can use to explore programs.
And I want to emphasize the word explore.
Finding a program doesn't automatically mean it's the right program for your child.
Every program has its own eligibility requirements, admissions process, level of support, costs, residential options, academic structure, and expectations for independence.
So ask questions.
Visit campuses when possible.
Talk with program staff.
And most importantly, include your young adult in the conversation.
Maybe the First Step Is Simply Asking the Question
I don't know yet whether Goose will go to college.
I don't know which program would be right for her.
And I certainly don't have all the answers.
But something important happened during our conversation.
Instead of me deciding what Goose could or couldn't do...
I asked her what she wanted.
And she told me.
She's ready.
Now her mama has some homework to do.
If you're raising an exceptional child, I want to encourage you not to automatically close doors simply because their path may look different.
Ask the question.
Explore the possibilities.
Find out what's available.
And listen to what your child is telling you about the future they want for themselves.
Sometimes our children are ready for the next chapter before we are.
And sometimes, their courage is exactly what we need to help us turn the page.
Together, we thrive and shine.
I'll see you in the Village.